Okay everybody.
New rule.
Anytime I get a thought to do something that doesn’t go against the scriptures or kindness, I gotta do it.
Why?
Cause I used to get promptings, man.
And I just knew they were a prompting (aka generous thoughts) from God so I would just do them. I saw. So. Many. Miracles that way.
But I’ve stopped. In the name of “not making people uncomfortable” and “not being weird”, which slowly turned into “not making myself uncomfortable”.
So uh, that’s dumb.
Shortly after I announced this rule to my friend Patrick I saw a guy walking outside the window wearing a bright blue Cotopaxi facemask. Had the thought “you should compliment that guy’s mask”. Happy to report that after shouting “hey” to the confused passerby while I hung out the door, I was able to tell him he had a nice mask and to have a good day.”
This is gonna be a good time. B) (<<sunglasses smile to represent my internal grin while I think about this)
Sam Clinger then voiced a concern about it getting in the way of my ability to function. Like just, get things done and whatnot. While fair, that’s the same voice that slowly rationalizes staying in your comfort zone. I think I’d rather live a little more interestingly and a little less productively given the choice.
I’ll just have to leave it to God to not let it get in the way, cause I’m running with this idea for the time being.
In high school I would do surprise trust falls with people. Thought I was hilarious. Out of the blue, crossing my arms and falling back towards someone with eyes closed, announcing “trust fall!”. Sometimes they caught me. Usually they didn’t.
Even more hilarious was asking someone to catch you well in advance, really building it up and making sure they were in position behind me and ready with outstretched arms — then falling forward.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that sometimes the spirit asks you to do a trust fall with God. It feels a little like “‘Hey Colvin, you should do [X]”. Then me asking “Wait, that doesn’t really make sense, why would I do that?”. This is the deciding moment. If you tell yourself it’s too weird, or uncomfortable, or rationalization X, Y, or Z, you don’t have to do it. And God will figure out his purposes some other way.
But if you listen closely, when you say “Why?” you’ll quietly hear “Just trust Me”.
Then you close your eyes, cross your arms, and fall.
Crazy thing about this little step of faith is that God will catch you, every time.
It’s one of the foundations of my testimony. Every. Single. Time. You will be fine. And a good portion of the time, you get to see the outcomes of your unplanned actions that you were doing, not knowing beforehand (1 Nephi 3:6) the outcomes of your actions. The fruit of your unexpected “generous thoughts”.
I am a little worried that this little rule is just a thing because I feel good today. I talked with my therapist about feeling inconsistent, and she talked about the possibility of bipolar disorder.
That did not make me feel better, somehow.
But, I suppose knowing if I had a treatable medical issue would be better than living in confusion.
As I write this, however, I realize that this little rule will be strict for me for a few days, but then will become a guideline. It doesn’t need to be a lifelong thing to make a difference, so I’m just gonna run with it. Have some fun trust falls. Hopefully regain a little of my confidence in the Lord.
So reader — next time you get a thought to be generous, just go ahead and do it. I’m going to.
