Commitment Means Re-commitment

I have a disease. I swear it is an actual illness. When someone texts me a question, if I don’t respond in the first few hours, I’m never responding.

I feel like the pressure builds. It’s been so long that it would be awkward to send them a text now, so I wait even longer, making it even more awkward. If it’s important enough I will eventually text them. And it’s the worst.

I do the same thing with everything from homework to cleaning my car. I already have late assignments in this class. My car is so dirty and I don’t have time to do a “deep clean”, so I won’t even take a couple minutes and grab the trash. I put things off until I do some Big Thing™ which is only necessary because I’ve put things off for so long.

It’s terrible.

Sometimes, I do the same thing with sins. Put off repentance because I have so much to repent for. Wait for that lightning strike of motivation or penitence before I start coming back to God.

It’s terrible.

Unsurprisingly, there’s a scripture for this. 1 Samuel 12, which I found under the “Commitment” entry in the topical guide.

Samuel spends the majority of the chapter just wrecking on the people. They’ve done wrong. They’ve served idolatrous gods. They’ve outright “rebel[led] against the commandment of the LORD”.

Samuel brings it to their attention very clearly. He even goes so far as to pray to God and ask for thunder and rain, which God sends. Rightly, “all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel”.

At this point, they’re feeling bad. This is where I my syndrome starts. I feel bad, I get down on myself, I do bad, I feel worse. Cycle continues ad infinitum.

Yet in the next verse we learn how God wants to treat us (and presumably how he wants us to treat ourselves).

Samuel said unto the people, Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart;

1 Samuel 12:20 KJV

Listen. You’ve done all this wickedness. It’s no reason to stop trying to follow God.

In fact, it’s a reason to intensify your devotion.

I think there’s this subconscious fear of being a hypocrite. It’s inauthentic if I’m sinning and still say prayers in church. That’s not what being a hypocrite is. That’s called being human. Striving for something better against our inner nature? That’s nobility, not hypocrisy.

God’s already forgiven you. He just wants to pick you up and keep walking with you. Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness, but it’s no reason to turn away from Christ. Just forgive yourself and keep moving.

Just because your car is messy doesn’t mean you cant take out that litter.

Just because you’ve got missing assignments in the class doesn’t mean you can’t finish what’s due tomorrow.

Just because someone texted you a day ago doesn’t mean you can’t text them now.

Doing bad doesn’t mean you can’t do good. In fact, it’s a great reason to do a little extra good.